


reddit.hieron/r/relationships

by birdlord5000



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, background hella/adelaide, like half canon half modern au where they have reddit, spoilers through the end of spring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 15:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20695586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdlord5000/pseuds/birdlord5000
Summary: a collection of posts that Hella and Adaire made over the years





	reddit.hieron/r/relationships

**Author's Note:**

> either Janine or Ali made a joke during the postmortem saying that Hella and Adaire's relationship was like a long string of r/relationships posts  
EDIT: i was wrong, it was Austin that said that. either way, thank you for the inspiration

**How do I [27f] ask out my crush [29f] without her thinking that it's a scam?**

So a bit of background here, I've had to do a lot of things to get by over the years: theft, scams, elaborate cons, you get the gist. Not stuff I’m super proud of, but I also don’t hate myself for doing it. My crush is aware of this part of me, at least to some extent. We met through work on one of my more legit jobs, and early on I fell and she caught me in her huge, muscular arms and said something witty and from then on I was completely fucked. I want to get closer to her, but I don’t have a lot of experience with lasting, trusting relationships, so I don’t know where to start. I don't even know if she trusts me or not, and I made the mistake of telling her about the time that I flirted with a rich woman so that I could break into her house and steal her jewelry, so I'm afraid that she'll think that I'm just trying to scam her if I ask her out. Any help would be appreciated, and lecturing me or trying to narc on me isn't helpful, it's just annoying.

* * *

**i [29f] have a crush on my friend [20s?f] but last night she said that she lacks a true connection. help?**

ok so i have this friend who i've worked with for a while now and she's great, she's smart, capable, and super hot. she's also kind of a con artist, and as a result, she's a really great liar. the other night while we were travelling for work we stopped at this bar and she got to talking with the bartender, who asked her what's missing from her life right now (weird question for a bartender to ask, i know). anyway, my friend said that what she lacks is a true connection. meanwhile i'm over talking to one of our other friends and i can hear her say it. i don't know if she knew i could hear her, but it hurt. i thought that we had something, at least friendship wise. should i confront her about what she said and about my feelings, or should i just take this as a sign that she's not into me and i shouldn't get my hopes up?

* * *

**I [27f] followed my crush [29f] to this weird dead end town, and now her former enemy is here and keeps flirting with her**

To make a very long story short, I, my crush, and a couple of our coworkers got stuck in this weird, out-of-the-way town that manages to be unnervingly idyllic. Around the same time we got here, so did my crush's enemy. I am 100% not joking when I say enemy, btw. I don't have all the details of what went down, but I know that the two of them got into a huge fight where some people got seriously injured and the whole thing had to go to court. Since we've been here, though, this woman, I'll call her A, has been blatantly flirting with my crush, to the point where she'll wait at the docks for her to come down and work on her boat and then sweet talk her way into riding around with her. My crush has said that she is annoyed by this, but has not made any moves to stop it. Should I make my move before A does to avoid getting my crush stolen away from me, or is my crush already smitten with her former enemy?

* * *

**i [32f] have been working at my crush's [30?f] store in an attempt to get her to notice me but i dont think it's working**

my crush opened up a department store a couple years ago and fairly early on i said that i would help out at the store. i did it so that i could spend more time with her, but she probably just thought it was because we were friends. anyway, i dont need this job. i'm not even very good at this job. mostly i do pretty simple stuff like moving boxes and curling bits of ribbon. the problem is that when we're at work, my crush barely pays attention to me at all. she gets so focused on work stuff that she shuts off everything else. am i just wasting my time and energy trying to get her to notice me?

* * *

**I [35f] fucked up by messing with my crush's [37f] boat and I don't know how to make it okay.**

Okay, before I get started, let me just say that I know that the thing that I did was bad, and I do regret it. I’m trying to move forward here, not validate myself for the shit that I did.

The woman I'm in love with has this boat that she spends a lot of time on. We live in a weird dead-end town, and that boat is her little escape. She spends a lot of time maintaining it, and takes it out on the water at least once a week.

I have been coping with living here in different ways, i.e., badly. Things in this town are weirdly perfect and pretty much nothing out of the ordinary ever happens, so I've felt a compulsion to cause chaos just so that the calm is broken for once. Nothing major, just loosening some screws and fraying some ropes. Everyone here is so happy and carefree that it makes me, someone who has had a really tough life, kinda pissed. Before you jump to the comments to call me an asshole, I already know that I am so don't waste your time.

The problem is that I got carried away in my meddling the other day and messed with the waterproof lining of this boat that my crush has. She can't know for sure that it was me that did it, but as I was helping her repair the boat the other day, I said something to make her suspect that I was the one who was responsible for the damage. We had a conversation about what happened, and I explained how I felt trapped by this town, and how it was driving me crazy. She sympathized and vented her own frustrations about being here, but she’s still kinda mad about the boat thing. what can I do to get back in her good graces?

* * *

**i [39f] have been in love with my friend [37f] for close to ten years now and i want to tell her, but i'm also in a relationship with another woman [??f]**

pretty much what it says on the tin lol. i've been in love with my friend for years now and have never gotten around to telling her because it never seemed like the right time. during those years i was asked out by my girlfriend, who, let me be clear, i am also very in love with. i don't want to break up with my girlfriend, and i especially don't want to cheat on her. recently i had a near death experience that made me feel like i have to tell my friend how i feel about her, but i know i should talk to my girlfriend first and i don’t know how. it doesn't help that we're in a long distance relationship lol. how can i talk to my girlfriend about this, and what should i do if she doesn't like the idea of me confessing to my friend? i don't want to make my girlfriend sad, but i also really want to let my friend know how i feel.

UPDATE: i talked to my girlfriend and she said that i was being a dumbass and that i should stop worrying and go confess to my friend. long story short now i have two girlfriends.

* * *

**my [40f] girlfriend [38f] is teaching her two adopted children how to be spies and saboteurs. should i put a stop to this?**

a little while ago my girlfriend took two kids, a brother and a sister, under her wing because their situation reminded her of the situation that she grew up in. that situation being having little adult guidance and having to lie and steal to survive. i've talked to my girlfriend about it, and she's said that she wants to help them live a better life than she did. for her that means giving them lessons so that they can be better at lying and stealing. to be fair, she has also taught them what she knows about mapmaking and other trades, but it still seems a little weird. my girlfriend used to be a scam artist before she made maps, so maybe she's just trying to pass on her skills, but these kids were already little hellions, and i'm afraid that these lessons will make them unstoppable.

it doesn't help that i have no legal bearing on these kids, but then again, i'm not sure that she does either? she definitely didn’t do any official paperwork to adopt these kids. anyway, should i tell her to stop teaching her kids how to fuck shit up?


End file.
